Nothing to fear...

...but fear itself.

My husband is having surgery in less than 12 hours.  He seems unconcerned.  I'm terrified.  I can't talk to him about it because he'd say it was ok, he's going to live forever.  Yadda Yadda.

But I can't help myself.  All these scary scenarios keep running through my mind and it disturbs me.  I haven't been afraid of my own surgeries.  Why does his scare me?  Was he maybe afraid when I had mine but we didn't talk about it?

12 hours from now I hope to be posting that all is well, he's better than ever, going to get out of the hospital sooner than planned.

I'm saying my prayers and have people praying for him and for me.  Maybe it's always harder on the person who isn't the patient, the one who waits for the good news while trying to stay calm.

So now I try to sleep, so I can be calm tomorrow, ready for whatever news the surgeon brings.